I am a control freak,,, this is something I have to deal with. this is the reason I can't let things go and let GOD take care of them. This is also what GOD and I have been dealing with lately. Faith and Trust are the two things that are important in a relationship with the Father.  Having faith that He knows best and having trust to let it go and let Him take care of it.
When you don't have those two things you end up with
Fear.  Fear is the opposite of faith. it is the fear of letting go of your situation. II Timothy 1:7 says GOD has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love power and a sound mind.  If I hold onto fear how can I have a sound mind??? I can't!  Faith and Trust go hand in hand. You need the faith to know He will take care but you have to Trust Him to let it go.  Wow the lessons we can learn if only we go through the trials. I love You Lord.

I've been having stress and anger for the last couple of months and I don't like to be that way. normally I try to stay positive. But something got a hold of me and I couldn't let it go and it was eating me up spiritually. I'd give it to GOD and take it back, as if to say Your not doing it fast enough or not trusting that He would take care of it.  I missed 3 Sundays at church and just couldn't get back into doing what I knew I should be doing. 
yesterday I went to church for the first time in weeks and on the way in was listening to Dr Lutzer on the radio. He said something so awesome that I had to pull over on the side of the road and write it down so I wouldn't forget.

"If you only see the devil in your trials then you are already defeated.  Look for GOD in your circumstances.

Wow that really hit me. I know that Satan can attach me and dig into my Spirit until I am defeated. But what I wasn't thinking is that GOD is there to bring me through and help me to grow in my Spirit through the trials. He says He will never leave us or forsake us ,But for some reason we like to feel we are the martyers and have to fight the battle alone. If I let HIM He will bring me through like an oyster going through irritations  to become the pearl.  I need to remember this the next time. HE also reminds me that he that endures till the end will wear the Crown of Life .

I stopped writing blogs last year because they changed the format and I couldn't figure out how to write a new blog. As everyone knows I don't do well with change.  Anyway I think I got it so here goes.

A lot has happened in the last few months. Rosalie went to Arizonia to see her sister and fell and cracked her hip.  She spent 3 months in the hospital then rehab. came home two months ago and is doing better. Still having rehab and walking on a walker. She is 91.

My dad fell around the same time and had to have surgery for a broken hip. he is now in Copper ridge where Eleanor spent 8 years. I was worried about him being in there but he says he likes it and doesn't want to leave, so that was really strange. I said, "dad don't you want to get strong enough to get out of this bed?( cause he doesn't want to exercise). And he said "what for I have everything I want right here. That is a switch for him.

My mother-in-law passed away in April and was released from a body that hurt and didn't work. blind, deaf, and depression all of her life.  I know that when she walked out of that body that she walked into her new perfect body and into the presence of the LORD. And now she knows Joy Unspeakable. I miss her but I am thankful that GOD is able to deliver us from pain. 

Also my friend Betty's husband Orville died in march suddenly .they were married one month short of 51 years. he just gave up. it's seems as men especially get where they can't do things like they use to, they just give up.  Betty fell after that and broke her wrist. Had surgery and is now almost back to perfect.

Now I found out that a friend of mine has cancer of the liver and only has about 3 months.

I don't mean to make this blog sound morbid, But our lives all intertwine with each other and we never know from day to day when it will be our last day here on earth.  God has a plan for each of us and when that is done we get to go home to Him. I am not afraid of what that will be. I trust Him and know that He will never leave me nor forsake me.  Thank U Father God.

Remember Job from the bible? Well today I met a man that made me think of a modern day Job.
He's in his 70s, had a very successful business that he built from the ground up and planned to hand down to his sons.  He had 4 sons and a daughter. none of the sons wanted the business.
one died in a car accident, one died from a heart attack ,one died by drowning and one is in prison.  The daughter is doing great by the way.

Without being able to work his business alone he sold everything and last year had an accident that caused him to be paralysed from the waist down for a year. With alot of therapy he is able to walk stifly.  Today he was waiting for a judge to let him know if he was divorced.  I walked away from hearing his story and just couldn't get  this tragic story put of my head.

We complain about  the dumbest things. and and are never satisfied,  then we run into someone who has really had problems and it kind of humbles us, as it should. We complain cause our house needs small repairs when someone elses house is blown away by a tornado or washed away in a flood or burned up in a fire leaving them with nothing.  What will it take to be Thankful for what we have. I feel humbled when I hear of these things. GOD forgive me for complaining when I should be greatful.

Sharon and Eladio were married on Aug 25 2012 at our house. It was great but it was hectic, it was beautiful but it was stressful.  It was coming and then it was over.  I have to say I have not seen Sharon this happy in years and I owe it to Eladio.

They have both had rough roads at relationships and I know they have both learned so they can go forward in this one.  Kathy and Miranda made the cake which was gorgeous. for once our whole family came together to celebrate this event. Nancy and Sarah were in the wedding, Melissa took pictures. Steph and Latania were both Brides Maids.  Brandon and Michael were best men and Curtis walked his mom up and gave her away.  Pastor Les Baugh did the service and did a wonderful job.

After having major wild fires for a few weeks and smoke in the air everyday we had a clear day and not tooo hot. Then the next day the smoke was back.  God's timing was perfect.

Lord I ask u to watch over these two and Bless them and keep them happy and seaking u in their lives.  In Jesus Name   Amen

unloading baggage

I talked to someone dear to me today that has issues from growing up in a not so great environment. He is in a new relationship and has never handled relationships well. He always says they are wonderful and he is the problem.
I told him that we all come with baggage from our past and need to learn to unload it so we can live the life that GOD intents for us to live.
Hauling around "baggage" while ur mate has their own "baggage" makes a very heavy load. I saw Joyce Myers one time and she had these great big stuffed pretend potatos that she was trying to figure out how to carry. she put them in a potato sack, but the load was still there. she hide them under a table cloth but they were still there. Which proved that no matter how she tried to hide them they were still there.
We waste precious yrs carrying our baggage around instead of giving them to the LORD.
Jesus set us free when HE went to the cross, but we keep ourselves in bondage by hanging onto things that cause us pain and prevent us from healing.
I also think of an infected finger with a splinter. Full of the infection it is never gonna heal but by using a needle which will hurt, eventually the infection is cleaned out and heals up. Some times we just need to talk it out to someone who understands. always we need to give it to GOD and let Him have it. He saved us seeing the real us, not what we see when we look into our selves. Work at being that beautiful person that He created and forget what satan tries to tell u. He says u are worthless. GOD says u are wonderfully made. (and we all know that Satan is a liar. hahaha. an old song we sang in childrens church. (SATAN IS A SLY OLD FOX, IF I COULD CATCH HIM I'D PUT HIM IN A BOX. LOCK THE DOOR AND THROW AWAY THE KEY, FOR ALL THOSE TRICKS HE'S PLAYED ON ME...GLAD I HAVE SALVATION, GLAD I HAVE SALVATION, GLAD I HAVE SALVATION, FOR TRUSTING IN THE LORD.)

I recently watched some videos on line from a christian comedian and singer and had such a good time just laughing and enjoying them. And he talked about how thankful he was that his mother brought him up in a christian home. I thought about the contrast of his upbringing and mine and wondered what that would have been like. Then I thought about this,, "It's not the beginnings of ur life or how u were brought up but the ending that counts. So many times I think about the fact that I am who I am because of what I went through as a child.
God was always with me growing up protecting me and loving me, even though I could not see Him. I could have grown up angry and senical but I feel I am the oposite. I am thankful that my mom came to know Jesus a few years before she passed and that is the important part of life. I want to keep on keeping on for God cause He never gave up on me. Revelations says "He that endures till the end will wear the crown of life.". Not because I'm good enough but From GOD'S grace and Jesus blood. So I mess up but still keep trying.
Not how I started out but how I end up is what counts. GOD is GOOD!!!!!!!!!